Making a commitment to art

I’m at East Side Mario’s reading though the introduction and first lesson material thinking to myself “I haven’t committed to my craft”. 
On a really serious note I have not made a commitment a real true, ‘standing the test of time’ commitment. Now I ask myself what is it to make a commitment, more specifically what is it for me to commit to being and artist and graphic designer?
Well it would look like everyday I spend time studying! Every week I learn one new skill or technique. That’s great so where do I go to learn such things? Well I have a few resources available to me immediately, they are the following: drawabox. (drawing fundamentals), Scott Robertson How To Draw, (technical drawing) Ctrl Paint (digital painting), Istebrak (portraiture), Lynda.com (graphic design).
If you can’t tell already, I strongly believe in honing and developing drawing skills in order to communicate as a designer no matter the discipline. Portraits, that’s for me, I am fascinated by faces. 
A few more resources Vilpuu drawing books, and an anatomy book forgot the name unfortunately.
So the question is, well it is not a question as a write this down the answer is already there. It’s really simple, I schedule time each day and I study. Now what is it that I should start with? I believe in moving in the path of least resistance when attaining personal goals so I should be drawing faces, drawing warm ups (lines, cubes, gestures), technical training with Lynda graphic design ….grr see the issue is I need to be working on everything!!
I have a solution, I will make myself a school schedule and tie it in with my work schedule, which is my business. 
That’s all for now, next post should have a schedule…

Art is really scary for me

I am scared of my personal art! Like really really scared, terrified honestly. 

You know when you have gone through a lot of trauma and the memories are deep in your brain. Well that’s where my trauma is, and I suspect that allowing myself to draw for me and not a client will open the flood gates! I have no clue what horrors, pains, and anger would bleed out on to the page. 

So here is my confession I am scared of being an artist! 

I did however purchase a book a sketchbook diary to be specific. It’s big, heavy, folds flat, and has lots of room for to draw. Most importantly it’s my private place!